An Ode to 2017 A.D. 

It rained a lot |
Storms were frequent |
And tears were the norm |
So When you arrived I didn't greet you with your usual kiss |
But with doubt and worry and this has never been my greeting with one of your kind before |
I had no clue the type of whirlwind you would be bringing with you and I'm not even sure I was prepared for your stay |
But you were here and we had 365 days to coast through together and whether I was ready or not...it was happening |

I was blind and silenced at the beginning of our journey and I had no solid plans nor did I have any visions of what my future looked like; I was imbalanced, alone and you were my company |

I attempted to escape your itinerary but we carpooled and you drove | You had control

And I knew I had to allow you to takeover because any attempt at escaping your grip would damage my chances at arriving to my destination alive |

And even on mountain tops and blue beaches you only gave me a moment of peace before you interrupted my solitude with your presence |

You were my shadow; The ultimate test was within you and by far this had been the hardest I have yet to endure |

But I placed my feet on the dashboard and I rode and allowed you to lead me wherever you saw beauty and wherever you found deep solitude, rest and love | Hands off the wheel

I allowed you to lead me to a familiar place I've never visited with my physical body | A place where my heart has always lived and where my soul longed to arrive soon |

And now that we are close to parting ways and I will never see you again, I thank you.

I thank you for the trip you allowed me to journey with you on, the growth you gave me as we weathered storms that only a warrior can handle and I appreciate your ability to keep me alive when detours gave no insight to what was ahead |

And furthermore, I love you for the lessons that lead to deep healing, the heartbreak that lead to finding love of self and love of life and for the growth that led to the flower |

With love,

An Evolver <3

Moments

How  many minutes just went by? | What were you doing during those moments? | Were you sad? | Were you thinking about something that happened yesterday? last week? last month? last year? | or were you present? | mindful of this moment? | those moments? | Did you spend them crying? | 

As the seconds project forward and the moments cease to exist are you wasting them or cherishing them? | Are you milking a mood that should have only lasted 5 minutes and now is lingering into your day? | lasting for hours...perhaps days? | Is it that serious? | Will it effect the now? | Your future? | Is it life or death? | and if the latter, are you afraid? |

Is it because you haven't spent your moments smiling, laughing, loving? | Have you lost balance? | Is time not a concept that scares you? | The way it continues to progress even when we don't want it to | how we are so dependent on it but it doesn't halt for us...ever | 

Time moves with no worries, no concern to answer the commands of outside source | It continues on with no remorse | It never stops, no matter what, time will continue carry the memories of the now for eternity | and we will continue to be its slave if we allow it to control our lives | If we allow it to cause anxiety, worry, doubt and uneasy moods |

Find outlets that take up your time in the most beautiful and forgiving ways | Use it for beauty | for love | for healing | Our moments are precious | Love them | Leave them | Flow with them | the second will always pass | and so will the moments | the minutes will always carry on | so cherish them when living in them | the hours will seem long | but be patient |

|TIME BE WILDIN'|

Reminisce

Universal | you and my soul | float on | float by | why fly | when you can soar | knees bleed from pleading mercy for my emotional needs and my need to feed on souls such as yours |

Souls that grace our space | with fluent flutters and fictional fantasies of unions only existing in our dreams | night and day dreams of lovers in flowers of red, yellow & blue | all beauties in your hue | your aura | your engulfing light | 

I once knew you in a dream |

Masked

Live deeply in your mind | creating space for souls to find | psychotic thoughts and winding time |

Distinct shadows cross the line |Wiping tears to claim I'm fine

Wiping tears to claim I'm fine |

Black by demand

I was magic | from birth when my mother took it upon herself to become a vessel that withheld a fucking Queen | I was magic

| two humans covered in blood from the sum became one solid, bright, piercing ray and at 299,792,458 meters per second out came a soul that had traveled millions of years past countless dimensions and endless dreams |

just to be magic |

Writing past tales and fables about the life she had when Kings and Queens had respect for their moms and dads and it was ok to walk down the street with dirt on ya feet and babies latched on to breast | back then when we didn't need to fight to feed our future with a "peaceful protest" |

fuck that and fuck you, your mama and your cousin too | Because I traveled |

I saw |

I created |

And it was with my kingdom I raised you | It was with lashes across my spine I loved you | It was with marching I carried you and It was with standing for you, I stand with you |

Just so you could be magic too |

The flow

I am but a mere drop in a ocean of possibilities | Unable to escape all that surrounds me because I am just as they are | A drop | In an ocean of diversity and variety | Where all others serve their time in their space | occupying their parameters within their own dwelling | 

Not realizing their mere existence means nothing in this galactic universe | Allowing outside forces to influence how it flows and where it grows | 

Engorging itself with the infinite feelings as the others that elect to be here | Allowing the waves and tides to interact and flow | although it seems to have no control | 

This is how we grow |

Just like the ocean | This is how we flow

I AM DIVINE SOUL. 

         I AM DIVINE. 

    I AM. 

Growing Pains

We've missed the point | this isn't how life is meant to flow | grasping on to what's meant to go | losing battles with self | burning walls and shadow deaths | caving souls | making and playing roles | theatre shows | so no one knows | how it goes

|When you choose to GROW |

nO uMBRELLA

Depression feels like you're walking down the street on the most beautiful day ever imagined...sun shining, people smiling and everyone is full of love and happiness |

And then suddenly the sky becomes dark, it begins to pour with no remorse, the thunder is louder than a 50 car pile up, the lightening is deadly and you are stuck...|

|WITH NO UMBRELLA|

Purpose

The purpose in life is to be led back to yourself | We are born searching for God | When God is not far |

We spend lifetimes questioning the purpose of life | 

Why are we here? | What is the path? | Where will I find God? |

Every encounter | every eye we get lost in | every stranger we bump |

Leads us back to God |

Leads us back to self |

and for this we Give Thanks |

Renewal

Get back to who you were before it rained | Before your emotions and reactions were claimed | The you who loved you back | before when you had your life in tack | Before the attack | Before your soul was hacked |

Where did you lose yourself? | Oneself |

Lost in a world of constant rain | Only familiar with the emotion of pain | traveling down the wrong lane
| only to realize you've caused yourself to go insane |

with constant worries and whispers that seem to only speak to you | accepting all forms of disrespect and abuse | because it seemed the only target was you |

somewhere it rained and it encouraged you to act as such |

somewhere it rained and you lost touch |

BUT WHO WERE YOU BEFORE IT RAINED?